Monday, June 16, 2008

i see the bright light

May & June are the most emotional and depressing months i've ever been through.
every year, it's at this time when everything goes upside down, the feeling of absolute lost but these are the moments that strengthens me for the years to come.
who knows, maybe i'll loose a love one sometime soon and so if i didn't have these saddening moments,
i'll be traumatize and will never be able to pull myself up again.
so, thank God for these little break downs.
but on the other hand, is it that impossible to enjoy school life. im 16 which also mean im left with only a year more of high school. so, if i rush through the remaining year and a half of school the way i am right now, that is a serious waste of life man...
i should stop caring and worrying about what the world view me as and just be who im suppose to be-LEE CHOW ERN.
as low as my self esteem can get, i still do have pretty good common sense that tells me being anyone else but yourself is disastrous. main reason: fighting with yourself will only mean hurting yourself.and the worst part is, you can never separate your emotions away from your physical body. therefore, its as if you are going through an internal fight.
a fight that no one else can understand.
of cause there will be times when i have doubts bout my looks,height,weight...but that is the way God made me, that is the way he planned out my life, that is the way he want me to be.
so no matter how rapidly people stab me in the face, i'll still remain the same way i was made.
i learnt that having high hopes will just lead to disappointment.
in contrast, having little faith will just ruin the beauty in front of you.
even so, i'll choose not to have high expectations. aim hight, drop low, more painful huh?
the only person one can truly rely on is none other than God quote God himeself

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